Tuesday, September 28, 2010
My friend is in the hospital right now awaiting the arrival of her sweet baby girl. I am so anxious one would think it was me having the baby!
I remember the feelings I had when I spread the news that I was going into labor on Friday only to tell everyone that it was a false alarm. Only to tell them again on Sunday "this is it!" Only to once again send a text saying "They sent me home!" with one of those sad face emoticons at the end of the message.
Finally on Monday they got the real message.....
"I swear I am not the girl who cried wolf! This is really it! Either that or this is one sick joke my baby was trying to play on me!" I texted.
The joy, excitement, and the "just breath" messages relayed back to me was what kept me going through some crazy, intense back labor. I knew eventually this baby would have to come out and meet the world! God lord I hoped so!
As my friend spread the word today I had THAT feeling. That feeling that everyone else had for me. That complete and utter butterflies in your stomach, smiling from here to there, wanting to skip around the house, kind of joy. The kind of love and happiness you have for someone who is about to embark on the greatest journey of their life is amazing, and in that moment I thought, wow, this is how my friends felt for me.
It's truly magical what the news of a baby will do for people. I realized then how lucky I was for that love and friendship. How blessed I truly am to have people that care so much for me, my family, and at the time, my unborn baby.
So as I wait for the call that the baby has arrived, my candle is lit. Burning with nothing but love for a new mama to be and a precious baby girl that is about to enter a world full of people that adore every single ounce of her.
Tuesday, September 21, 2010
Friday, September 17, 2010
I am trying to do it all and I feel like I am failing.
I am trying to be the best mom possible.
I am trying to be the best wife possible.
I am trying to be the best daughter possible.
I am trying to be the best friend possible.
I am trying my hardest but I feel as though I can never get it just right.
It is a never ending cycle of wanting to be that perfect person that can do it all and get it done without batting an eye. Without complaining. Without showing sheer and utter exhaustion. I just can't seem to find the balance in life right now and I am yearning for it.
Being a new mom is no joke. I knew this going in but never thought I wouldn't be able to clean my own house one day because I didn't have the time! I wouldn't trade the lack of sleep, messy house, or wrinkled clothes for anything in the world. This just means I am spending time with my Baby D.
But seriously how do you do it? How do you find that balance between motherhood, being a wife, and a good friend?
Thursday, September 9, 2010
Ok, my kid is amazing. He can now wave. I am sure no one else's almost 8 month old can do that, right?!? Humor me, please.
If you can get past my annoying mom voice, you will see Baby D waving to the world towards to end of video.
I actually caught a real wave and I am proud! AND I had the Flip near by, too. That never happens either. This took me freakin forever to capture. Why don't they obey and perform on cue?!?
Thursday, September 2, 2010
When I found out I was pregnant with Baby D the wheels started spinning. We were SO excited. We were bringing a little person into this world. But in the back of my mind all I could think about was all the stuff we needed and the lack of space we had for it. I needed to find a crib, but it had to be a non-toxic,eco-friendly kind of crib. I needed a stroller, but it had to be one that was easy to collapse and one that had tall enough handles because I'm a tall mama. We needed a tub, bottles, a Boppy, a breast pump, diapers, wipes, a changing table, a diaper bag, clothes...you get where I am going with this. We needed a lot of STUFF for such a tiny little person. And so the saga of baby registering began for us.
I was overwhelmed from the word baby. I didn't even know where to start. People wanted to have baby showers for me, but I hadn't even stepped foot into a store. I had searched for stuff online because that was a safe place for me. I could search online at all hours of the night and I didn't get that overwhelming fear of stepping into a store. The thought of going into a baby store just made me cringe! I don't deal well with a lot of stuff in places. It gets to be too much for me and I jet. I want nothing to do with it. AT. ALL.
I needed to begin the process of registering for Baby D, and all that is needed to make this tiny person happy. I decided on the 2 stores that were pretty popular and an online store that offered things from all kids of stores. All I needed was a Zanax and one of those guns they give you to scan things and I was good to go. I must have been a few glasses of wine in when I thought the above would be ok for me to do!
The husband and I were going to make a day of this registering and have fun with it. That was easy enough. After all, this is supposed to be one of the most exciting times our lives.(The baby, not the registering!) We set out on the path and hit a huge bump in the road in the form of a full on meltdown in Babies R Us. People were looking at me like I had lost my shiz. It was all just too much for me. I started to panic. I felt like diapers and wipes were closing in on me! I had to get out of there and fast. The husband didn't understand what was wrong and why I flipped. I think he questioned who he married! He had never seen me in this state and he had the fear of "I married a crazy person" in his eyes. Do I need 3 towels or 6? Do I need washcloths, too, or can I just use ours? Do I need a Diaper Genie or can we just use a trashcan? What about the mattress? Does it have to be Organic or is it ok just to have what we all did years ago? It NEVER freakin' ended! I questioned EVERY. SINGLE. THING!
After a few weeks of not looking at "stuff" online and avoiding the baby section of Target like the plague, I managed to get it together and register for some things that I thought Baby D would need. Of course, there were things we didn't need and things I wish I would have asked for but didn't. In the end we received some amazing things from friends and fam. Baby D is set in the shoe department and he doesn't even walk! What is it with people and baby shoes?!? In the end I embraced the registering and tried to enjoy it as much as I could. This little baby boy was going to be my life and I all that came with it whether I liked it or not!
Please tell me I am not the only one who had these crazy anxieties. Please!!!!
Labels: Baby D